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Saturday, April 16, 2016

R.I.P Disney 18-5-98 to 14-4-16

On Thursday we had my beloved Disney put to sleep.
I am beside myself with grief.  Although he had several issues that made his quality of life difficult and his days/weeks were numbered I still feel so guilty that I didn't wait a bit longer.
My vet felt the time was right as his condition would only deteriorate to the point where his dignity would be gone and he felt that it would be kinder to let him go whilst he still had dignity.

Disney had quite bad dementia , which meant he paced and puffed all evening, he was clearly in some degree of discomfort or pain , and he was also semi incontinent , he also struggled to defecate because of his rear leg weakness .
Worse was the fact that he had rear leg weakness and if he got onto a slippery surface his legs would splay and he would end up spread eagled on the floor and couldn't get up.  We had several times found him like this and fortunately had been in. We were all concerned that this would happen when we were out and he could lay like that for several hours in distress. This concerned us so much. We had made the room he stayed in as safe as we could but he still managed to get onto the wooden floor and that is when it happened. We tried a crate as he slept in one happily at night, but he became extremely distressed in there when he couldn't see us, so that was a no no too.
It could only get worse and I would never have forgiven myself if we had come home and found him suffering. I took him to the vet 2 days before we had planned to have him pts at home, just so my vet could check him over again, just in case there was a glimmer of hope. Sadly it was found then that Disney had lost 2.2kg in 3 months despite having a veracious appetite, he was constantly hungry. Something else was clearly going wrong.
However Disney could still manage a small walk and was quite bright and it was so hard to see all this could be wrong with him.
The saying goes...better a week too early than a day too late and the vet thought in Disney's case this is what could happen.
However I still cant forgive myself. I am tortured by guilt and the thought that maybe there was something else we could have done.

My life will never be the same. He was my soul mate and I loved him with all my heart.
He took me places I never dreamt I go. He reached the top in Agility , gaining a CC and taking me to Crufts and Olympia . He excelled at Obedience taking me to Crufts twice, He was an amazing TV star. His want to work and his will to please was immense.
I made this video about him a year ago as a tribute and wanted to put it on here again.

1 comment:

  1. So sorry for your loss. The reasoning behind your decision was absolutely sound but it's still a hard decision to make isn't it.